Aromatherapy

Geri Halliwell (formerly Ginger Spice of The Spice Girls) who, according to several of their teenage rabble, departed the successful bubble-gum group over an ugly hair-pulling incident with Scary Spice, was apparently stalked recently in First Class on a red-eye from L.A. to Miami.

After standing on the aisle seat to jam her oversized carry-on into the overhead bin that was clearly designated for emergency equipment and blankets, Geri settled quietly into her window seat at the front of the cabin. That is, until mid-flight, when she escaped to the bathroom for several minutes. As soon as the door opened and the OCCUPIED sign dimmed, a burly passenger raced in to stew in the freshly deposited celebrity smells and remained there for a good ten minutes. We assume that he was overcome with the thought of how close their two bottoms had just come to connecting.

One can't help but wonder what the portly fellow occupied himself with for so long in that tiny airplane restroom. If our hunch is right, the occasional turbulence must only have added to the illusion.